Foster to Adopt Grieving Class - Adoption.com Forums

Honey, sometimes I feel like I could teach that class! And we didn't even get in this to adopt, it's just happened that we were fostering, thought we could adopt, had the kiddo for half her life, and still lost her. I can't imagine how hard it would be if EVERY kiddo we'd had in our home was one we were thinking could be forever.

As it is now, there is a lot of talk about us possibly adopting BB Kiddo, and while we would love for it to happen, we are guarding our hearts and not getting too hopeful. Well, that's not exactly true. But it's a weird combination of assuming she will be with us forever ("It's good she's got this birthmark and an outie belly-button; we'll never have to worry about bikinis or pierced navels!") and preparing to be told she has to transition to another home (I've made notes of milestones but only in my FP notes, not in a baby book).

My mantra lately is "Crossed fingers and open hearts." We are trying (as ever) to go with the flow.

The grief of the ones we "lose" (even when we knew they were not going to be forever) is not something we ever get past, but we learn to live with it. When the grief bombs suddenly land in the middle of my otherwise perfectly nice days, I'm able to recover more quickly than I did at first. But I have a feeling that they will keep on coming, for a long time yet.

Source: http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/401568-foster-adopt-grieving-class.html

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